Wednesday, October 28, 2015

10 Anxiety Ridden Confessions



I know it is only Wednesday, but so far, this week has been crazy. It's not that my blog has ever been a "secret," it just hasn't really been easily accessible to the people that I actually know. And, it feels really weird to say, that this is no longer true. On Monday, I added my blog to my resume and LinkedIn profile. For some reason, that wasn't terrifying enough, so then I thought hey, maybe people didn't see that small update, maybe I should share this post on LinkedIn too. I blame Helene for all of the encouragement.

However, yesterday is when things really got interesting. I have been waiting to share the news of Aaron's new job for a while now, and I guess the excitement got the better of me. Once Aaron made the announcement that he had given his notice, I thought it was a great plan to share the post I had written about our plans. I shared it on Facebook. My personal Facebook.

It took about 20 minutes before I reflected on all the awkward and embarrassing things that I have posted over the years, and regret set in. Mike made a great point though, who's going to stalk my blog back to 2013 and then admit it? Lord willing, nobody. Does that make all of my worry go away? Hell no. That's why I decided to just let it out in this week's Humpday Confessions.

I confess that I may have jumped the gun on sharing my blog.
    We don't start traveling for two weeks, and I doubt our family/friends care about the "Mascara Favorites" post I have planned...

I confess that I am terrified people are picking my blog apart and judging the shit out of me.

I confess that I've only deleted one post since I started this blog in June 2012.

I confess that I can't decide between wanting people to read, and wanting people not to read.

I confess that despite being extremely excited to start traveling, I am really sad about leaving my friends and family.

I confess that I am scared that I am going to miss out on important things.

I confess that drinking together over Facetime to celebrate my birthday, doesn't sound the same as a real party.

I confess that I'm ignoring my actual responsibilities to spend as much time with people before I go as I possibly can.

I confess that my life really is a fucking dream and sometimes I get too overwhelmed to realize it.

I confess that I can't wait to see the world and chase the warmer weather!

Alanna & Company

7 comments:

  1. I added my blog to my LinkedIn profile a couple of weeks ago, too! I freaked out, but I actually had a lot of support from it. I'm glad you did it!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my gosh this gives me anxiety just reading it. Does Helene's course tell you to put the blog on LinkedIn? I don't know if I could do it. I'm too personal and inappropriate. Also I get really uncomfortable when someone I know tells me they read my blog. I immediately think, no you aren't allowed to read it, it's for strangers. Which is crazy talk. Anyways, long story short, I'm impressed. I think you are going to have the most amazing time traveling even if you are a little homesick. And I also can't wait to read about your adventures!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ahhhh!! Share away!! And I am so stinking excited for you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ahhhh!! Share away!! And I am so stinking excited for you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Share your blog! Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter, right??
    Also, all you confessions about travelling and missing out are word for word how I've been feeling. Glad to know I'm not alone. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was super scared to tell my boyfriend about my blog and I was surprised he was so supportive of it! Then I ended up telling my parents and they seemed positive and encouraging as well. I haven't shown it to them, but they know I have it. I'm scared to share it with my friends on Facebook for the same reasons - I doubt my friends&family are interested in my favorite hair or skin products or other life ramblings and I don't want them to judge me for it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Okay girl, you and me are kindred spirits. I have an...interesting relationship with my facebook family. My family in general is a little overwhelming--but put them on facebook and forget about it. I actually deactivated for YEARS because I couldn't stand it. But for numbers sake, I reactivated. I've been sharing posts but made it abundantly clear that the first family member to comment on something, I'd deactivate again (they've been begging me for years to reactivate). I know they all read my blog, but the respect my territory there. But if I share those posts on facebook, they feel the authority to comment away. It's been a tough balance for me--and to be quite honest I hate facebook in general. What I might do is try to grow my blog page on facebook and really only keep the personal one as the platform for that one. Okay, longest comment ever about facebook. But we should probably have a facetime chat sometime about all those anxieties because YES TO ALL OF THEM!

    ReplyDelete